Monday, November 15, 2010

Funny Medical Quotes

Funny Medical Quotes 

The things that medical staff write in letters.

The medical profession may be known for their bad handwriting but their letters and notes aren't too good either. Just look at these funny quotes from the UK medical staff.

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

The patient has no previous history of suicides.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

Patient was seen in consultation with Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, I agree.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1997.

Patient has waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in ER she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

eye rollingWhen she fainted her eyes rolled around the room.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

And to think we rely on these medical staff to make use feel well. Their funny medical quotes help though! And in most case we can see what they were trying to say.

Chris August - Starry Night

Jason Gray - More Like Falling in Love [LYRICS]