A Sneek Peek At The Edits

I know it been a while since my last blog entry but the missing time was not waisted. Thats a lie or at least mostyl a lie. Here lately the kindling has ignighted and searing my rear end. In this Dreamtimereaders World, I'm judging a writing contest right now. I have currently poured over 3 entries so far. My eyes want to pop out of this thick skull and over half of those precious brain cells must have killed over. Lets keep praying that my lungs don't keel over for smoking like a coal train. Hey, I like to mulitask.

There have been a lot of lessons learned over the course of this weekend.  I never realize that the only thing that sticks out after four hours of reading on a someone elses document that hasn't been critiqued is I/he/she/I/me/they/he/I ext... I would like to encourage everyone to learn how to use a comma's and conjunctions please. The worst problem came mostely as I was reading. What was held in the pages of those documents had been my own mistakes glaring back at me.

Any writer who has ever finished a document is familiar with that feeling of bounding joy because this is your crowning acheivement. So you ask that all knowing and all seeing inner self, "What do I do next?" The answer is so obvious because hey, what else do you do. Its time to publish. This option is so easy to do with online self pub. "NO ITS NOT READY!" If you though the hardest part was getting 20 to 50,000 words from your head to the computer screen, your wrong as I have found out. The real time consuming work is the edits.

My respect for writers has doubled as I try to add up the countless hours spent on one document. Until the craft has been perfected, an authour could easily spend double the amount of time pouring over edits; this is in comparison to how long it took to write the original. An author may never be comensated in royalties. Thats the risk of this trade. Only a small percent become famous like Stephen King. The only reason we keep at it is because we love to do it.

During the two years that I've been a part of a writing group, my knolwedge and writing skills have grown. I don't show much of it because its not perfect yet and I'm lazy. Still, this contest has motivated me to pull out one of those dust laden documents and get to work. I've still got a long way to go before reaching perfect and it won't be easy. I've come a long way from that first typed line which read" Helios's head hit the floor with a resounding whoosh." Lately I've been thinking about carving those words in ceedar and hanging it in my future office to remind me how far I've come.

Helios and the Legend of the Nomiwatta has been shortened to simply Helios.With that said, I would like to present to you a sneek peak not only of the edited version of that first line but also the first couple paragraphs.

Helios/L. E. Leonard/Young Adult




Chapter 1





“It happened again, the same dream that has been so difficult to describe. It usually happens when I’m sick or worn out. When the dream comes, I never want it to end and can’t grasp what it means. I am there but my body isn’t. I’m not contained by anything yet there is a substance everywhere and it engulfs everything. A multitude of bubbles force their way up to a yet unknown destination. What purpose does this serve? Where am I? Who am I really? I am alone but not alone. I have comfort and peace. I’m protected. Is this that yet uncharted sky above revealing its secrets or is it contained within the land of Needham? Is it a bad omen? The images are unclear. An amazing sight to behold, but how to tell you about it would seem almost physically impossible. What does this mean?”

The somber gaze of the Draconian Constellation and full yellow moon lasted an eternity for young Helios Reed. “Time to get up Helios” halted those few and precious moments of sleep. Iosha Reed’s voice called from somewhere underneath his cozy loft and sent the teenager’s body crashing to the floor. Even though his aged wooden cot adorned with almond sheepskin was only an elbow’s length from the floor, his survival instinct did not react. Helios fell onto the rough spruce timbers and managed to scrape and elbow on the way down. The growing frown froze then reversed, revealing a smile. None of this would quell his intense enthusiasm, for this day was special. It only took a moment to beat the dust from his clothes and scratch those curly locks into place. After a quick yawn, Helios was now ready to leave the loft and tackle the morning chores.

Mother Iosha was in the kitchen. As Helios walked in, blistery steam rose from the hot wok on the corner stove. Mother stood by the old whiskey barrel filled with water washing tarantulas. Mom’s savory chicken spice sat quietly on our antique bar beside the battered wood stove. Helios was handed a bowl containing a second batch of twice washed creepers to season and fry. “We can’t waste any time this morning. I want the day’s income gathered by noon at the very latest.” The tired crease in Iosha’s weary eye softened. “Happy birthday son!” Marking the occasion, the first batch of tarantulas began to pop in the hot grease. “What are your plans for tonight?”

Time To Change

     Finally the rain arrived after almost 2 months suffering from  a blistering hot spring.  There's no rainbow to be seen from where I am situated, but the view is lovely non the less. Slightly intoxicated, I find it relaxing to lounge on the blue sofa that is dotted with white flowers while watching Dr. Who on the television and enjoying the light breeze of the fan. The fan and the drop in temperature offer some comfort but are not as refreshing as my whisky and coke spilling down the exposed portion of my cleavage.
      I look out the picture window once more and can see the extreme tops of the trees illuminated by the sun's last trivial efforts to scorch my surroundings before her rays are extinguished for the night. It's 5 till 9 but still light enough to be thought of as morning. This is when my morning begins.It's hard fitting in naps during the daylight hours, but my work must continue. Humanity may be an overbearing pestilence on this plantet but I used to be one off them and they perhaps some are still worth saving.
     I smell something in the air. they are starting to come out of hiding or sleeping once again. What ever it is they do during the daylight hours is no concern of mine! My blood is pumping and head racing. My breakfast is stirring . Time to change!

A New Plan For The Cylons

After completing a scheduled project of the crew members aboard Battlestar Galactica, the blond undercover Cylon agent prepairs to take the next available shuttle and hide within the fleet once again. An adequate amount of information concerning the large ship's occupants was acquired along with confirming footage that the first cylon/human child had been born and was healthy.
Just prior to boarding the shuttle, a stranger tapped the reporter on her shoulder. Casual as ever, she turned. The individual was tall and of an ordinary completion. Underneath his unshaven exterior, showed a human about age thirty to forty. He produced a pleasant smile as a leather bound book was placed in one of her empty hands. "Sorry to disturb you miss but I have something that you should take a look at."
It was not uncommon for members of the fleet to have books on board. A great deal of human habits tend to linger for countless ages. Still the book was in perfect mint condition and the writing on the front in an unknown language. This presented its self as a trivial matter for the undercover cylon. The fleet had been in space looking for Earth for several months now. Who had the time to create a book when everyone was more concerned about survival and fighting off the next cylon attack? Remembering to initiate common human social activity she looked back up. "Thank you very..." He was gone as quickly as he showed up and vanished somewhere in the crowd. A snapshot of his face was stored somewhere that humans called the collective consciousness for further analysis later. She then turned to board the shuttle once more.
The human like cylons met in in an undisclosed location hidden on a smaller vessel. The reporter was then debriefed about the crew's activities and then the video was shown. Before the cylon council departed, a dark skinned male asked, "Is there any more business that needs attending to at the moment?"
"Yes there is." The brown leather bound document was then produced and presented to the others. "It's language is one that is unfamiliar to me but we can have it deciphered in no time with all of us working together."
Approximately six hours in human time passed before the code was cracked and another thirty-five before the text had been deciphered and read.
"This is interesting indeed. At least the religious aspects are quite similar to what we know to be true."
"Could it have been written by a human? For thousands of years they have all held on to the belief in multiple gods and false idols. This has thrown the humans into a repetitive cycle. They don't truly grow or evolve as a species should."
"Yet they are astounding free thinkers capable of great deeds. If only they could let go of their never ending setbacks such as rage, bigotry and the slaughter of other species as well as themselves with no just cause."
Another blond settles back in her chair to momentarily contemplate an idea. "I would like to make a motion to abort our present course of action with the humans and suggest a new tactic in dealing with them. The video has given us a better look into the lives of these intelligent animals. When they are not hurting themselves and the environment around them, humans can be somewhat pleasant and intriguing. Yes, I do believe intriguing computes with my circuits."
"I agree. We should implement the idea's presented to us in this document and give humanity a chance."

Then another male cylon who had been quiet up to this point spoke up. Unlike the others gathered in the room, this cylon presented signs off what could be described as schizophrenia in human terms. For some reason the genetic splicing never fully agreed with his software components. The result presented themselves by giving him a more unpredictable approach to the order of things. "Let us think about this a little more closely. We have seen that over the ages, the human race is incapable of change. I don't feel that they are really worth saving but I won't argue with a majority rule. I will stand by it but it is a pointless pursuit."
"Still, up until now, the end result has always been the same. We all come close to annihilating each other yet a human remnant always remains. I think it is time to shake things up a bit."
"Do you have a plan?"
"We shall proceed as the book describes it. Rather then letting them continue on their present course, we have to slow down their technological growth. Less then fifty-thousand humans remain alive. This is a sufficient amount to keep the gene pool clean. They shall proceed to Earth and we will leave them alone. The fear of us will remain but they will think they have finally given us the slip. A message will be dispatched to all cylon raiders to not engage unless ordered otherwise through this committee. Once Earth has been located, the humans will land and become preoccupied with procreation and establishing a land base. Some of our raiders will be dispatched to create a lush garden while the rest of us wait for the Battlestar Galactica to empty out."
"We must remain under their radar and hidden from sight. As many of their ancient text must be removed for this the work efficiently. I will start preparing undercover ground troops for this job. The humans will have to eventually come to understand that there is only one God and not multiple deities."
"Since human males are able to copulate with female cylons and effectively produce an offspring, a human male must be removed and kept separate from the group and prepared to be raised in the garden. For a time he will be on his own but, when he is old enough, we shall present him with a female cylon to be his wife."
"Once the majority of humans have landed, we must send the coordinates to our cylon raiders to destroy the Battlestar Galactica and all remaining fleet vessels. The coordinates will have to jump them as close to the ships as possible. This will enable a clean launch of our missiles and quick escape. Once this is accomplished, all that remains for a time is to slow down considerably their resilience of mechanical engineering until we come up with the technology to impregnate a human female."
It will require occasional visits  to Earth and inconspicuous spying. Unless required, we stay out of sight but not too far away. "
"What shall this project be called?"
"We shall call it the Adam Project."
The cylons then closed the strange new book. On it's cover read "The Holy Bible."

Profound Thoughts

     The previous week hasn't been the greatest of times for me but it wasn't horrible either. There was trouble shooting on my computer. Somehow the Internet was turned off. Thankfully that has been fixed. I have also been sick again this week. At least my fever appears to be breaking now and I'm feeling better. Still earlier this week, my client and myself were watching a show on the history channel that got me to thinking about why in do individuals not have profound thoughts in a moment of crisis?
    
     Do you know what Teddy Roosevelt said when his navel secretary (Stark) called to inform our president that Pearl Harbor was just bombed? He said "OH No!" Its not the most insightful of responses when everyone expect our country's leader to set the example for us all. Seriously though, what was he to say in that precise moment. I'm sure the news sent him into shock and utter acceptance all at the same time.

     When I was hit by a truck six years ago do you know what I said right before impact? It was "Oh shit!" I have disappointed others because I neglected to think of God or cry out to him for help. It wasn't a panicked declaration either.  It was an acceptance statement mixed with disbelief right before the impact. Oh yea, I also saw a brilliant pretty light when I impacted with that blasted truck too. It wasn't all sweet either. My soul felt as though it would be ripped from my body. Either way it wasn't my time and as I think back, there was nothing I could have added to my statement at that moment to make it more profound because there wasn't any time. The shock of the situation would have prevented me from adding to it anyways.

Tonight's Profound Thought: Be safe everyone and may God continue to look over you.

Watching Kitchen Nightmares

     Right now I'm watching Kitchen Nightmares. As a certified Grill Cook I've got to say that this show is intense. Most individuals don't realize the pressure and stress a cook undergoes. If you don't have a store owner or responsible manager willing to take charge as the pressure heats up then you have a bad night with a lot of unhappy guest. As a writer I try to bring out and show what we go through in my stories. It is said that the best writers stick with what's familiar. I still have countless kitchen stories that have yet to be shared but someday I hope you have the opportunity to read them.
     For this year my goal is to develop what I have already written and work on a couple stories that have recently been started. I have my homework spelled out for this year as well. This includes working on those dreaded synopsis and building my editing skills.
     Changing the subject while I'm thinking about it. They say that there are some words you can use in your blogs that are profitable and will make you money. Some of these words include auto insurance, credit, school and of course electronics like computer's. I wonder how a person is paid by using these words? Seriously, no one I know would even click on the highlighted word simply because they are not visiting the site to buy something. Everyone I know likes to make purchases from Myer and Wallmart. If they are shopping online its Ebay or Amazon.com. This includes me.
     So what brought about this burst of useless information? I was checking out Alaskan jobs. I'd really love to live in that sometimes frozen wilderness. Even with arthritis advancing in these joints, I'd love to go Big-footing! There is also Moose hunting and lots of fishing opportunities.
      So this is today's dream! Let's all move to Alaska. I need an on staff doctor to assist with the pain and a job that lets me work on the computer. I only want to work a couple days a week and spend the rest of my time fishing and gardening. I need a chicken coop with chickens and some goats. Now, who want's to hook me up? Hahaha, I'll be your best friend for life as long as you don't stalk me. Try to stalk me and I will consume you because I am The Big Fish.
     OK, on this episode of Kitchen Nightmares there is rat droppings, cockroaches and rotten produce in the basement. The meat they are serving is green and rotten before cooking. The smell I would imagine is absolutely putrid. The condition of this restaurant is so disgusting that it would require a week or perhaps longer to clean up. Roaches are the biggest obstacle this kitchen faces. It can take up to a month or longer to completely get rid of them. Only constant vigilance, daily scrubbing and pesticides will take care of the problem. Even with bad management, any cook that allows standards to get that bad needs to find another job. If I accepted a job such as that I would personally call the health department on them. The economy may be bad right now but will not endanger my customers.

     In closing I'm sending Chief Gordon a "Hell Yea and Great Job" for the education and help he is offering this establishment. I hope they understand the blessing that has just been handed by Gordon and they make an ongoing effort to actively use the education that was offered to them freely.

Caleb's Story: Christmas Day

          Since breaking his phone several weeks ago, the only way to get a hold of Shelly would be to use Mom’s phone. That involved sneaking in her room after she fell asleep to keep from getting lectured. The bright side of the situation was, Gabriel usually feel asleep by seven and was out all night unless the dogs started barking.

          During the conversation with Shelly, noting could be worked out. Everything that went wrong was all Caleb’s fault. Perhaps it was in some ways. But if he put his foot down to try and put a stop to all the nonsense, it would also involve him landing a fist in someone’s face as well. This could lead to jail time and there had been enough of that in recent years to last the rest of his life.

In the end, it was decided for now that they would spend Christmas apart. No one could afford anything decent this year. Actually it was that way for as long as he could remember. Everyone fought all the time and there never was any decent gift exchange. “Hell, all we ever really seemed to have was mom’s damn ornament collection. I can’t be blaming mom for everything when she tried her best. It’s not her fault that I tore up everything that was ever given to me. Time for bed I guess.”

Christmas morning Gabriel made several attempts at calling Caleb before he actually got up. Lisi was there along with his sister Hanna and her two kids. There were also presents. A wrapped box was shoved on Caleb’s lap as they wished “Merry Christmas.”

The Box contained a two liter of cola and all sorts of snacks to pass the time. The gesture was well appreciated, but for some reason it just forced a growing craving to have some Jowl Bacon. “Shelly is the one pregnant and I swear I’m having the cravings for her.” A pair of warm pajamas was given to him and Mom got a PlayStation 2 along with an assortment of games. It was explained that this would be here at his mother’s house just in case he ended up stranded here again. “They all think she deprived me of everything but the crazy bitch just brings it on herself. Not like I’ve got any room to talk. Hell I married her.”

Happy New Year

     Tonight has been interesting and that's putting things lightly. Now that I've gotten over my crankiness and the pain in my legs have diminished, I'm feeling tired but better. I think it's been a truly wonderful year full of learning experiences and I'm looking forward to 2012. There is a lot of talk about what could happen in the upcoming year. A lot of it is depressing.There is the threat of having bad solar storms, the sea level rising, more natural disasters and the world ending next December.
     I say toughen up, get over it and thank the Lord that your still around. Make the most of the upcoming year. There has never been a better time to quit smoking then right now. Make sure you help a neighbor and let those around you know that you care. Do your parents dishes and clean the house without them asking or trying to bribe you. Remember to recycle your trash rather then throwing it out of the car window. Tell a stranger that they look nice today and actually mean it. Make an old woman smile by telling her she's pretty.
     Why? Because there is already enough sadness in the world already. Stop adding to it an do something useful with your life.

     I hope you have been enjoying my rendition of Caleb's Story. I'm not really sure what is going on with it or where it's going yet but a nice story is definitely developing here. Have a wonderful new year everyone and feel free to stop by on any of my sights and leave a comment. Your input is appreciated.

Caleb’s Story: Meeting the new neighbor continued

          “Why was Shelly spazing?” Although she swore otherwise, he wasn’t ignoring her. They were planning on spending time over at Nate’s house playing Modern Warfare. It really didn’t matter that the TV and 360 were already loaded up in the car before she locked herself in the restroom. “I understand her excitement over the baby moving but damn, she needs to understand that I’ve already been through this pregnancy thing with two of my ex-girlfriends. So what if the baby moved. Get used to it because it’s going to start happening more now that she’s almost five months along. I’m going to have plenty of time to watch her stomach look like a wobbling bowl of jelly.”

          “I’ll be right back. I gotta take a piss.”

          “Caleb, don’t talk like that while there is company present.” Despite the bruised shoulder, Gabriel leaned forward, eyes slanted and ready to pierce someone’s neck with invisible laser beams, if it were possible.

          While peeling his tired body off the couch a well-timed fart slipped out. “Mom, now’s not the time for lectures, I gotta go.”

Lisi simply kept quiet but appeared humored by the situation.

          With a clenched fist, Caleb closed the bathroom door and paced the floor. It was difficult not punching the wall and after several mock attempts. It was time to stop and think. Anger related issues only produced trouble in the past and it was time to start acting like a responsible man. No one was making the process of growing up easy and the neighbors were starting to find out the marriage wasn’t working. “That’s right, piss break.”

          Mom’s voice trailed in through the cracks. At first Gabriel denied not wanting to talk about it but Caleb knew she would open up and share everything. “He’s a good son and I’ve no idea why she tried to kill herself. It’s been getting worse over the last couple months. I think it was over her wanting a three-some. They get into that sort of thing.”

          “Dear Mother, so sweet and yet so gullible.” Gabriel always gave him the benefit of the doubts and he was thankful that she always tried to be understanding. Still it was a bad habit of his to mess with her head. Although a happy fantasy of any man, it was only a fantasy and a joke. Women never seemed to get the joke or find humor in it. Mom complained about it to anyone who would talk to her. A quick rinse of the hands and it was time to see what Lisi thought.  It was also time to intervene and protect Shelly’s name. Good or bad, she was still his wife and someone needed to defend her. The craziness was what attracted him to her in the first place. “That and her willingness to explore.”

          “Hey Caleb, am I to understand that your stuck here with pretty much of nothing except for a change of clothing? Do you know if she’s coming back for you for Christmas?”

          He deliberately avoided eye contact and picked up a random piece of paper. It was rolled into a ball and thrown, a successful attempt at playing catch with the fat chocolate lab. “Don’t know, she took the cell phone.”

          “I think there’s an extra game system laying around the house that nobody’s using. I’ve got a few other items that I think the two of you could use around her.”

          Gabriel protested, “I don’t want you going out of your way.”

          “I’m not and so far the two of you seem to be having a miserable time of things.” A playful smirk was directed right at Caleb, “Behave yourself around your mother before I take that broomstick in the kitchen and shove it somewhere you’ll find highly uncomfortable.”

          Caleb froze his mock attempts at slapping his mother from behind the chair. “I like the sound of that.”

          “They all try to test me and end up running away when it’s found out that I don’t use any lube so just try to behave for now punk.”

          The look on Lisi’s face implied experience. She seemed used to dealing with obnoxious men. She was smiling though like it was funny. “Heck, she’s crazy just like all other women. Perhaps old enough to not really care what other’s thought about her too. I’m going to try and call Shelly tonight and talk things out after Mom falls asleep.”

Caleb’s Story: Meeting the new neighbor

After hearing a repeated knock, Caleb simply pulled the covers over that shaved hard head of his and tried to ignore the thumps from mom’s front door. Still, after several minutes of relentless barking from the dogs, it was time to get up and find out who was disturbing this peaceful morning.

        The door barley creaked open before a brilliant morning sun blinded the view. Lisianthus Glass asked “Is Gabriel up yet?” The aroma from a platter of stemming cinnamon rolls tightened the knot in Caleb’s very empty stomach. It growled in an angry protest but he turned his nose away to let in the new neighbor.

        Lisianthus preferred to be called Lisi and since moving in next door about a month ago, she had practically adopted Caleb’s mother Gabriel. Caleb, who now lived right outside an Air Force base in Ohio didn’t know what to make of Lisi. She came by to check on Gabriel every day and made sure all her needs were taken care of. Upon pushing her way through the door she added, “I’m not sure if you’re allergic to bleached flour like your mother but Merry Christmas anyways. Did you know you look like hell this morning?” The cheerful smile was warm and welcoming so Caleb greeted it back with a grin and “morning” mumble.

        Kindness from strangers was an unknown concept in this household. He assumed she would just hurt then in the end, just like everyone else has done. For now though it was time to practice the Golden Rule and treat others like you want to be treated, at least until they screw up and reveal the beast hidden within.

        After situating the rolls on their kitchen counter, Lisi started a pot of coffee. The coffee pot was one of the pride and joys of this home since it was a high priced Bunn Maker. A pot was ready in three minutes every time. The perfect jump start for anyone needing a caffeine fix.

The only way Gabriel was able to afford nice items like this was because she sold her excess prescription pain meds. It wasn’t something any of them were proud of. Caleb detested the fact that doctors had not only turned his mother into an addict by trying to ease her pain, but she had basically turned drug dealer as well to pay bills. Resisting the urge to go back to bed, Caleb sat on mom’s worn green couch to socialize for a few minutes. It was at least distracting from the cursed thoughts that continued to pop up. “If only the job market was better, I could help mom out. If only I hadn’t gotten that infection in my eye and still had vision in both eyes.”

As a plain black cup of Folgers Black Silk was presented to each, Lisi ask “what was all the commotion last night? Are you OK Gabriel – Caleb?”

“It’s too bad they always bring this shit back up when you just want to forget about it.”

Caleb's Story: The Holidays

The Holidays

     How the fight started and who was to blame didn’t matter anymore. Still, that bathroom door needed to open. It wasn’t until the second kick that a sharp crack could be heard mingled with Shelly chucking a shampoo bottle through the opening along with a hearty “Leave Me The Fuck Alone.”

        Through a damaged bathroom frame Shelly franticly tried to hurry up and bend a wire hanger over the curtain rod and around her neck before Caleb could stop her. The sight would have been bothersome fifteen to twenty years ago but after dating half-a-dozen crazy women already and dealing with the mental instability of his female family members there was no surprise in this little pity party.

        The obscenities continued to pour out of Shelly as she was scooped up and carried out to the bedroom. Caleb ached everywhere. The physical onslaught he was forced to endure didn’t end until Shelly was released from his grasp.

        Mom’s nose peered around the corner. “Is everything alright? What was all that racket?” The crystal that used to be part of the bathroom door handle rolled under Mom’s feet as she gathered the courage to inch her way further in the bedroom.

        Shelly grabbed her coat, keys, and bag before storming out. Mom, who suffered from increasing mobility issues couldn’t move out of the way fast enough. Shelly ignored her mother-in-law and proceeded to knock her into the hallway mirror as she headed to the front door. What had started out as an inconvenient disagreement now had Caleb pissed. “You stupid bitch! Can’t you at least watch what you’re doing when you’re around my mom?” The shouting was answered by all three dogs happily barking as they could now exit through the front door and roam the neighborhood.

        Mom was helped to her feet as their silver Sunbird drove off in the cold evening. “What happened Caleb?”

        “Shelly wanted me to fuck one of her friends.”

        “Excuse me?” Mom nearly lost her balance but Caleb quickly caught her shoulder. “Nothing, it’s nothing! Just go back to bed and try not to worry. I’ve got to go after the dogs.”