The spies frightened the people by their report. What spies? What people? What report? Two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, tried to encourage the people. They told them that with the Lord's help they were well able and that the Lord would give them the good land. But the people were still afraid, and they were told that they must live in the wilderness till forty years were passed from the time of leaving Egypt, and until the faithless people had died, before they could go into the promised land. (Num. 14:26-34) So they lived a long time in the wilderness about Kadesh. You will often hear of the forty years in the wilderness. (Exod. 16:35; Deut. 8:2)
I will be leading class at my women's meeting Tuesday night and I thoutgh I would talk about faith. Joshua had faith but because of everyone's else's fear and disbelief, he had to wander the wilderness for 40 years. Thats a long time to wait for God to fullfill his promises. Abraham had to wait longer though. As I get close to my 40th birthday, I'm reminded of this.
I feel as if all my life I have wandered in the wilderness as well, wondering what my purpose is and just wanting to be of some service to God. When I lost my dad to cancer, I spent many nights drunk because I realized I had to grow up. I've since quit drinking but, still felt lost and alone. I slept alot.
Then one night on my way home from work, I was hit by a truck. I should have died that night and I was ready to go. I was tired of always having to struggle. My kids didn't even give me enough purpose to go on. The pain was overwhelming. I tried to keep my eyes closed, but the annoing voice of an ambulance assistant kept telling me to open my eyes. I told her later laughing, that I resented her for it.
About two years later, I was forced to get inernet access to find a lawyer to help me, and that is when I first started playing on the computer and blogging. That was when I truly found purpose and what I'm ment to do. I have stories that need to be told; stories of faith and hope. Here is one such story:
Like Joshua, I was once able to spy in enemie territory, and because of my faith, a life was saved that day. A friend of mine had ask me to come with her to an abortion clinic. She didn't want to tell her family or have the child but, she didn't want to go alone either. I agreed, honored that she chose me and secretly hoping that I would be able to change her mind. She also had told me that I wasn't changing her mind, as if she could hear my thoughts. We were able to enter with no problem, dispite the picketers outside, and I was able to listen to several of the women there. After a while, I was finnaly able to connect with a young lady who was confused and didn't feel like she would make a good mom. I told her my story! Several years back, I was a mother of three children going through a divorce when I found out I was pregnant again. Even though I cried about it and wondered how I was going to manage, the thought of abbortion NEVER entered my mind. Because of that decition, I was blessed with a baby boy who was so happy and well adjusted. I called him my sunshine baby.
She thanked me for talking to her and it was time for everyone go in the back and see the doctor or what ever they do back there. I was almost in tears by that point and left the lobby, trying not to think of all the children that would be killed that day. The picketers were singing an old hymnal while holding hands outside. This gave me the courage to go back in and wait on my friend. When she came out, she said she had took the pill and it was time to go. So with a heavy heart, I started to put on my coat. Then the young lady I'd talked to earlier came up to me and wispered in my ear" I didn't do it, thanks."
You don't always know who your going to influence, but that day I was given a great gift of knowlege. Because of my faith and willingness to help a friend, a child is alive today. The picketers outside did not know the good they did that day, but I did. Things my have turned out very diferently if I hadn't gone, but remember, it only takes a little bit of faith to move a mountain or even save a life.